Saturday, April 12, 2008
Who is Vaneeza
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Sunday, November 04, 2007
Googly Woogly!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
buzz!
Monday, February 26, 2007
In the News
He didn't actually need to blow himself up, after all...
Also, sometimes when you read little snippets like this one it makes you smile. A little smugly. Ever so slightly.
Interestingly, the Khalid Ishaque Wing of our library has at least six Mills & Boons, according to reliable sources. What a wonderful DIY guide for those long, boring hours spent studying books up there. Now you can land yourself the study-buddy of your choice (tall darkandhandsome... or average-looking and rather hairy), go through passionate hours of Econ305 being the worst course - and best bonding bitch session - ever and end up studying (with?) them instead.
Britney baby, one more time! Britney is bald. It's official. Whoever said that blondes are stupid must now retract that statement and instead say that blondes are generally naturally stupid but some blondes are definitely brain-damaged due to drug and alcohol abuse and should not be allowed to check themselves out of rehab after a day, especially if they were once blonde but are now bald because of aforementioned brain-damage. (Oh, and they should also be kept away from electic/other razors.)
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
TAs at LUMS
Species Name: Animalus
Natural Habitat: wilderness of academic biome, faculty offices, T.A. room
Descent: Hybrid (mix between student and faculty)
Characteristics: There are several T.A. species and many characeristics, but the most common feature of this species is its smugness. Endowed with unrestricted entry into the world of students as well as their teachers, it is inevitable that the T.A. will display a smug grin during most of its waking hours.
It has been observed by several behavioral analysts that the T.A. is most likely to travel with large brown envelopes containing papers to indicate their busy routine. However, it is important to note that the T.A. is of the Treacherous genus, and hence its occassional display of such busy-work is not to be taken seriously.
When a T.A. is sighted in the auditorium with students, it is normal for students to gauge the T.A.'s moods and to be-friend them through conversational means. This is to be avoided, as it aggravates the already pressured T.A. ego, which is known to be very thin and fragile in most species. Excessive aggravation may lead to an emission of lethal gaseous secretions that are invisible and odorless, but which may culminate into dreadful marks in the next quiz.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
the love lottery
Februa is the Roman word for pure, or chaste. So February is, in essence, the month of ... well, there's no other way to put it. It's the month of virginity. (Or abstinence, if you answer 'yes' to Clint's most famous quesion, punk.)
Anyhow, possibly the challenge was for these very nubile, virile and energetic young Romans to keep their hands off each other till the month was over. At which point it may be propituous to recall that February is the shortest month of the year...
A picture of Juno. Although if you look very closely it says 'Hera Ludovisi' at the bottom. But I checked that out too and it's apparently a bust of Antonia Minor. Whoever it is it fits the whole 'lucky draw' theme...
And speaking of busts, Hashmi's got the bust of the above Australian fertility goddess in his office. What you don't know is that Hashmi's got the bust of the above Australian fertility goddess... (It isn't called Victoria's Biggest Bloody Secret for nothing, mate ;)
Anyhow, the evil and villainous Emperor Claudius II (yes he was both evil and villainous, and yes that is quite an achievement. Did you think just anyone could get up and be Emperor?) decided to put a stop to all this nancy-shmancy neck-romancy because he needed more men for his armies. Clearly men with wives or lovers are less willing to leave their behin- them behind. So Emperor Claudius II banned all marriages in Rome. Cries of shock and awe all around.
Enter St. Valentine stage right. Apparently he helped to secretly arrange marriages just to spite Claudius. (When they were but young lads, Claudius and Valentine had the libidinal appetites of recently pubescent rhinos on hormone treatments. This of course led to a certain amount of competition between the two which the romantically christened Valentine usually tended to get the better of. *Gasp* that's your actual name? Ooooh. I've got Trojans. Claudius eventually got sick of it and decided to re-direct his energies into raising armies of celibate Romans in a really perverse attempt to invalidate his past. Valentine just went on like a hatchful of inebriated bunnies.)
So anyway Emperor Claudius found out about the secret marriages and had Valentine thrown in jail but did that stop old Valentine? You bet it did. It's not like being brilliant in bed gives you superpowers.... Well, you know what I mean.
But did being in jail stop old Valentine's libido? (And why do I keep calling him 'old' Valentine?) Hah! No it didn't. And it didn't stop the jailer's daughter either. However, old Valentine was hanged on the 14th of February, the day he wrote his last love-note to the jailer's daughter. ("Hey - happy my day! Have a blast kitten, and remember - can't take my eeeyyyyeesss offa you, can't take my miiiind offa you.") Oh, and apparently all of Valentine's supporters used to come and throw flowers and notes at him while he was in jail. They'd have thrown chocolate too but Claudius had the jailer put up a "Don't Feed the Prisoners" sign on the jail door.
And speaking of prisoners and food and inane signs, let's take a moment to reflect on this beautifully pasted warning on the PDC glass entrance...
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
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Wednesday, August 09, 2006
"Scheduled outage at 4:00pm PDT" says blog
Anyway - I believe the monkey can now get drunk on narcissism. Brilliant! (Plus it's a great excuse to use when caught picking your nose or flinging poopie at people: "What? I planned and succesfully executed in cold blood a devious scheme to drown your girlfriend in poopie and make it look like an accident? Well of course I was drunk you hair-brained fairy, why do you think I got caught?" =)
Bottoms up peepholes!
[Additionally: the ancient art of the drunk monkey, very sniggerable]
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
what happens when you google "monkey news"
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Makes me wonder- possibly Kate/Jane/Emma/Who-Cares-About-the-Broad's-Name-Anyway would have done a lot more than just scream... Possibly she'd have dropped dead with fright the very first instance she laid eyes on old PingPon- sorry, King Kong. Stands to reason...