Wednesday, February 21, 2007
TAs at LUMS
Genus Name: Treacherous
Species Name: Animalus
Natural Habitat: wilderness of academic biome, faculty offices, T.A. room
Descent: Hybrid (mix between student and faculty)
Characteristics: There are several T.A. species and many characeristics, but the most common feature of this species is its smugness. Endowed with unrestricted entry into the world of students as well as their teachers, it is inevitable that the T.A. will display a smug grin during most of its waking hours.
It has been observed by several behavioral analysts that the T.A. is most likely to travel with large brown envelopes containing papers to indicate their busy routine. However, it is important to note that the T.A. is of the Treacherous genus, and hence its occassional display of such busy-work is not to be taken seriously.
When a T.A. is sighted in the auditorium with students, it is normal for students to gauge the T.A.'s moods and to be-friend them through conversational means. This is to be avoided, as it aggravates the already pressured T.A. ego, which is known to be very thin and fragile in most species. Excessive aggravation may lead to an emission of lethal gaseous secretions that are invisible and odorless, but which may culminate into dreadful marks in the next quiz.
Species Name: Animalus
Natural Habitat: wilderness of academic biome, faculty offices, T.A. room
Descent: Hybrid (mix between student and faculty)
Characteristics: There are several T.A. species and many characeristics, but the most common feature of this species is its smugness. Endowed with unrestricted entry into the world of students as well as their teachers, it is inevitable that the T.A. will display a smug grin during most of its waking hours.
It has been observed by several behavioral analysts that the T.A. is most likely to travel with large brown envelopes containing papers to indicate their busy routine. However, it is important to note that the T.A. is of the Treacherous genus, and hence its occassional display of such busy-work is not to be taken seriously.
When a T.A. is sighted in the auditorium with students, it is normal for students to gauge the T.A.'s moods and to be-friend them through conversational means. This is to be avoided, as it aggravates the already pressured T.A. ego, which is known to be very thin and fragile in most species. Excessive aggravation may lead to an emission of lethal gaseous secretions that are invisible and odorless, but which may culminate into dreadful marks in the next quiz.
According to natural (LUMS) law, it is impossible for a T.A. to be the T.A. of a fellow T.A. If such a situation arises, one of the T.A.s is required to step down through the assistance of the T.A. co-ordinator. When such a situation arises however, it is observed that the T.A. displays its smug and treachery and continues to live life as it so desires.
During Exam season, the T.A. is likely to display adverse behavior. The reason for this is that the T.A. is required to conduct as well as sit through examinations. This requirement may confuse the T.A. and this confusion therefore results in adverse behavior.
A silent T.A. is a rare species. It is inherent in their nature to display extreme garulousness. Hence, this quality is rare and appreciated. The evidence of its lack is found in the T.A. room.
Essentials: It is essential that a T.A. be kept in a cool, dry environment in order to suppress its reactivity. It is also essential that a T.A. be be-petted. A pet T.A. is a valuable asset in the academic lifespan. It is essential that all facilities be provided to the T.A. to ensure its short-lived survival because most T.A.'s last only a time of 3 months (some last longer due to faculty be-petting). Overall, it is essential that during the transition of the student into the T.A. species, the T.A. retain its student status. This assists in the painful transition and ensures a safe survival, especially concerning the already pressured T.A. ego, which is known to be very thin and fragile in most species. Excessive aggravation may lead to an emission of lethal gaseous secretions that are invisible and odorless, but which may culminate into dreadful marks in the next quiz.
